Lesson 1)Freindship lessons every girl needs to know

Freindship lessons every girl needs to know 

Lesson 1)Freindship is a big label aqquaintances need to earn-

I understand that you don’t want to be alone and theres this pressure that you need to make friends on the first day or the first week but I l dealt with this personally as I was very insistent on making a friend on the first day and realised  later on we were better suited as aqquaintances or like hi/bye friends as we didn’t really have compatible interests.

I realised that we would have a lot of fun sitting next to each other in class however at lunch or break it was awkward and that’s okay,its nothing personal.

Its important to have social variety  and  not just push for something that’s not working.

The difference is you don’t share personal stuff with aqquaintances and the bond isnt as deep or constant as it would be with friends.

 2)“A bore is someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with good company”.

Don’t be afraid of being alone-it’s a key life-skill.

Don’t be with people just for the sake of their freidnship when you genuinely feel uncomortable or not yourself,you should invest all your energy in people that genuienly care for you and don’t make  you feel small or that you need to dim your lights or change your values.

It can be hard to be alone but you need to remember that being alone doesn’t mean lonely- your free to do whatever recharges you  aswell as developing skills over time such as independence and resilience which will inevitabely lead to you being more true to your self and attracting similar valued people .

Trust me the real power comes from  you not needing to chase peoples attention or be validated by anyone and choosing yourself as you wont ever get that time back again.

With this being said being cynical is easy but we are wired for relationships and with the right people it can be the most rewarding memories ever-all im saying is don’t stay where your not wanted or comfortable.

3) Belonging vs fitting-”popular/mean groups”-This is a really important distinction that a lot of people fail to recognise.

 If your valued and supported for who you are then that’s belonging however if its fragile and you have to change to be fit In and it  can be subtle then that’s fitting.

Its important to realise that certain groups thrive on adrenaline and not real substance like intimacy,its shallow and you may feel included but that’s just adrenalien highs and once the high fades your left feeling empty.

It can also fuel constant comparison, aswell as it being unstable and leading to anxiety and insecurity comapred to genuine freidnships where your brain releases oxytocin-a bonding hormone.This also links to my next point.

 

4)You are the company you keep -It may seem exciting or validating but its important to stay out of petty drama or gossip as it can ruin your reputation,ruin relationships and dirupt your inner peace.

In psychology there is a process known as self-distancing which is where you remind yourself what type of person  you are and what your not and the more you stick by it and live by it the stronger your self-concept becomes as you remember you don’t need to chase futile things and that your building a reputation stronger than cheap popularity .

 

5)Boundaries/red flags-Humans arent perfect,a couple of slip ups doesn’t automatically mean someone is a bad friend,we all have flaws and we all have bad days

.A red flag places emphasises on patterns not mistakes.

Freindships thrive on communication,if something hurts you need to say it as true freinds are willing to grow,to listen and to improve whereas a toxic person will make you do all the effort and wont reciprocate your efforts.

6)Earn what you keep/don’t just have high expectations-You cant just expect a friend you actually need to be a friend,there needs to be a mutual effort in being supportive and being consistent.

You need to be accountable for what you’ve done wrong and look at the other persons perspective and  realise your not always the victim but sometimes the villian and realise you need to bring something to the table as everyones replacable.

 

7)Freindships are there for a reason or a season-There isnt a “right” freindship-freindships come in all different forms and sizes.

You cant just expect people to tick of your imaginary checklist.Some people show they care in different ways so there is no specific way to show you care.

Some friends are like mirrors whereas others are like chalk and cheese and others act like mothers or teachers challenging you to be better,

All things they will have can common is trust,connection and respect.

It can be because of lifestyle changes that you have moved on but that doesn’t take away the value as long as it wasnt toxic it was rewarding and its okay to accept that and move on.

 Stay tuned for more lessons and if you want some support or advice just click here https://tally.so/r/mBR5q5